Letter to a Client

My Very Dear and Slightly Antelope Ms. Sorbet:

Please be advised that we are unable to process your request for a large, polka-dotted, astro-turf lined, incandescent, 44 MHz plastic groundhog.

Currently, the large, polka-dotted, astro-turf lined, incandescent, plastic groundhogs are available only in 36, 58, 117.3, and 3,640,827 MHz.

Please let me know if I may be of any further assistance.

Passionately,

Henri Matisse