HOW TO CONSERVE DAYS

The other day a friend reminded me that it will soon be February, and that this is the month in which we all need to make do with fewer days. So I’ve decided to provide some tips to my readers on how to conserve days:

1) If you take a “personal day” off from work, share it with somebody.

2) Don’t waste days in idle conversation. For example, don’t use the expression “one of these days,” which uses up multiple days at once; instead, try saying “someday,” which only uses one day.

3) Try e-mailing someone in Hawaii, where the day is younger—you can gain many useful hours this way!

4) Install a daybed in your parlor so that the day can take a midday rest, save its strength, and hopefully stay up a little later.

5) Take those Day-Glo posters off your wall. These psychedelic prints use up a lot of raw day to make their Day-Glo colors.

6) Avoid products that waste days in trademarked names like Day-Timer, Day Runner, etc. And try not to stay at a Days Inn.

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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 12, 2009.