JFK IN VIENNA

AIDE: I’ve got your German-language coach here, chief. After what happened in Berlin the other day, we thought [cough] ...

JFK: All right, all right. Send him over.

COACH: It’s very simple, sir. You say, “Ich bin Wiener.”

JFK: “Ich bin Wiener.” That’s it?

COACH: Yes, sir.

CROWD: KEN-NE-DEE! KEN-NE-DEE! KEN-NE-DEE!

AIDE: Okay, chief—you’re on.

[JFK steps up to microphone.]

JFK: Umm ... er ... Oh, yeah. [Chanting] O, ich wünsche, dass ich war ein Oscar Mayer Wiener!

AIDE: Damn. Well, maybe no one will catch it.

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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 13, 2009.