I’m flat-footed, check it and see
I wear orthotics in my size 7D
Come on, baby, can we sit out this dance?
I’m flat-footed, flat-footed!

I’m shortsighted, check it and see
I can’t anticipate the things that will be
Hang on, baby, while I do something rash
I’m shortsighted, shortsighted!

Parody Lyrics by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt

• CINNAMON ROLL (after “Cinnamon Girl”)
• LIKE MY FOYER (after “Light My Fire”)
• A LETTER (after “The Letter”)
• THEME FROM DR. DOOLINEN
• PAINTED CURB (after “Tainted Love”)
• SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK (after “Strangers in the Night”)
• SHMUTS ON MY PANTS (after “Dust in the Wind”)
• GHOSTWRITER (after “Low Rider”)
• DABBLING (after “Dreaming”)
• RIKKI, DON’T LOSE MY LUGGAGE (after “Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number”)
• RIKKI, DON’T USE THAT PLUMBER (after “Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number”)

Beatles Parody Lyrics by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt

• ALL I’VE GOTTEN DONE (“All I’ve Got to Do”)
• ALL MY LUGGAGE (“All My Loving”)
• I DON’T WANT TO SPILL THE PASTRY (“I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party”)
• I’LL SWALLOW THE FUN (“I’ll Follow the Sun”)
• YOU’VE LIKED ME TWO MONTHS (“You Like Me Too Much”)

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Copyright © 1990–2011 Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.